Well it’s official: I am the worst shopper in the entire city of Los Angeles and, perhaps, the world. You’d think because I’ve spent the past five years writing about fashion for a living (and, much longer than that, dressing myself) that I by now would know the proper way to shop a collaboration launch. Especially one as high profile as Marni for H&M, which publicly hit stores this morning.
But I don’t. At all. Proved last night, when H&M held a preview shopping event at their Sunset Plaza store. And after a lovely dinner in front of my TV and an internal debate over whether or not to go, I decided to fluff up my hair, throw on a dress and go check out the goods with hopes of buying a small souvenir for myself. At roughly 9 p.m. — fashionably late, obvs.
But instead of finding racks of Marni matriarch Consuelo Castiglioni’s quirky prints and killer, wood-adorned accessories, all I found were scraps. Why? Because rule #1 of collaboration shopping is the same as in Chicago politics — get there early, and get there often.
I broke both rules, arriving late and making a bee-line for the bar upon arrival. And I paid for it dearly. The racks were picked clean except for an odd-looking patent leather-paneled sweater, a few pairs of size 10 metallic ladies mandals and a slew of blouses in a vertigo-inducing print that shoppers quite obviously did not care for.
The majority of ladies in attendance — most of whom work proffesionally in fashion — wore flats and the same makeup from their workday. Why? Because they came to win.
The line of shoppers at the register who got their earlier than I stretched to the door, and I happened upon a friend who had bought her goods when the doors opened at 7 p.m. and was already back to make returns.
Another friend carried a month’s road trip worth of bags filled with one of everything in the collection. She, too, had arrived on time. And apparently one Hollywood super-stylist not only showed up at 7, but she brought with her a team who divided, conquered and likely scored pairs of the metallic brocade cocktail pants I had my eye on from the look book.
I only scored a glass of free vodka, a gift bag scarf and sad stares from a line of women wondering about the pathetic asshole in the party dress who got there when the clothes were all gone.
Life lesson learned: Make more money so I can afford real Marni, which is conveniently available at fine stores whenever I feel like leaving my couch and shopping.
Problem solved.
Photo: A bunch of these Marni for H&M T-shirts were left on the racks when I got there last night, too. Want one?
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