Sometimes its fun to cheat the system. And that’s exactly what I did by buying a bottle of green, glow-in-the-dark ninety-nine cent nail polish on a recent CVS run.

Or so I thought.

See, I was trying to recreate Chanel’s sold-out shade of Jade that everyone in the fashion world is going ga ga for (not to mention that peeps are selling the stuff on eBay for as much as $95 a pop. Uh, good luck with that).

With it’s milky green hue, I thought my bottle of “Fantasy Makers Glow In Dark” Halloween-time varnish would allow me to jump on Chanel’s bandwagon (or at least stay in the same color family) for just pennies on the dollar.

Alas, I was wrong. This stuff is fug to the highest degree. It takes four coats of paint before you’ll see the faintest hint of tint, which happened to lend a jaundiced, sickly quality to my already sad-looking talons (yes, I badly need a manicure).

Not to mention that people undoubtedly thought I was nuts as I ran around town continuously cupping one hand over the other to create blackness and test out the stuff’s glowing quality (which shows up too faint to be amusing).

I’m going to pass on this nail trend for now, which, lets be honest, is kind of gross anyway. And next time I’m spending ninety-nine cents on something green, it will be for the chives atop a baked potato from Wendy’s, which I learned on a recent 2am run is now part of their value menu (life lessons transcend fashion here at Style Section L.A., folks. It’s part of our charm).