Hot-mom Dina Lohan has launched her own shoe line, labeled, wait for it… Shoe-Han. This follows Lindsay’s lamentable Paris Fashion Week debut at Ungaro, where she was hired to consult and perhaps give the ailing house a little L.A. spice. What Ungaro got instead was less Koi, more Spearmint Rhino. “What do the critics know?” she asked in defense as the front-row knives came out. (Answer: Not everything. But as far as Suzy Menkes/Eric Wilson/Cathy Horyn go, more than you.)

In a press conference today, Dina emphasized that all the shoes retail for less than $100. But so does a Sierra Club membership. Spend wisely, dear readers.